Phlem-Gate!

At the ripe old age of 32 I'm pretty proud of the woman I've become. I know my mind, I chase my dreams and I think that I'm pretty strong.

So why is it that I still manage to turn to jelly when I'm in an important (possibly life-defining) meeting with a powerful alpha-male type?

Yesterday may well have been one of the lowest points of my career. I had a meeting/interview with a big TV exec and dressed in my lucky red Reiss dress and lashings of mascara, I sashayed into the building brimming with self- confidence. I was ready for this....my whole life had been building up to this moment.

With my heart beating I exited the lift and met the man who was destined to be the undoing of me. He was tall, good-looking and utterly petrifying. He gave me an "I really haven't got time for this" look and led me into a tiny meeting room where he raised an eyebrow and said...."So tell me a bit about yourself".

Now this I can do. This is my speciality. I gave him my most devastating smile, took a deep breath and embarked on the story of Me. A minute later and this guy was bored, I mean seriously bored. I could see it in his glazed eyes.

My story was interrupted just as it was getting to the bit where I played a pig in a radio drama (a particular career highlight don't you think?) and the question that he asked me next was where it all went wrong. It involved me demonstrating an in-depth knowledge of an aspect of the show and even though I'm a massive fan, had been researching the meeting for days and couldn't have been more prepared, I went totally and utterly blank. My brain was refusing to play ball (the fact that I'd only had two hours of sleep after an overnight shift wasn't helping) and I looked like a total and utter fool.

To cut a long story short, after trying (and failing) to bluff my way through the rest of the meeting, (never ever bluff in an interview...It makes things 100 times worse) I coughed and some phlem landed on the table. There was actual phlem on the table!! He could see it, I knew that he could see it and all I could focus on was hiding it so I cupped my hands around the area and gave him a look of embarrassed desperation.

The meeting was over soon after phlem-gate. There was no hand-shake (which isn't surprising considering) and I'm pretty sure that I won't be on his TV show any time soon.

And now for the beauty bit.... the one thing that didn't let me down in this whole sorry affair was my mascara. After a morning of hayfever, little sleep, embarrassment, flying phlem and phoning Chris for a good old cry-laugh, my lashings of Lancome Hypnose Star Mascara were still perfectly in place. Thanks Lancome...having panda eyes would have added insult to injury!